This weekend marks 10 years since I graduated from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary with a M.Div in Great Commission Studies. It's went by like a flash. James and I are entering our 5th year in vocational ministry. Looking back over the past 10 years, there are several things seminary did and didn't prepare me for in this crazy world of ministry. For part 1, we'll look at what seminary didn't teach me:
Top 5 things Seminary did not teach me:
1. How much church work has little to do with Jesus. At larger churches, there are secretaries and other administrative personnel to take care of the paperwork, curriculum ordering, All Church Profiles, website maintenance, scheduling events as to not overwhelm members, coordinating phone calls, etc... James has felt called thus far to smaller, rural churches which means in many cases a lot of that work falls to me. I am good at administrative things, but I wasn't prepared for how much paperwork there would be to church.
2. How much ministry wouldn't be expressly Christ-centered. Seminary prepared me to intentionally point people to Jesus. However, I was quite taken aback when I realized that some of our much ministry would literally be teaching people how to live, not just live for Jesus. James and I have had so many conversations with adults (some even older than us) about practical life skills we take for granted as common sense: budgeting your money, not procrastinating if you need a ride to court, speaking respectfully to a judge, bathing your child on a regular basis, the importance of cleaning your home, buying groceries before cigarettes, etc... I remember distinctly a community member being at our home distraught that he was being arraigned for stealing copper from an abandoned home. His excuse: "I didn't know the house belonged to anyone." I couldn't hold back anymore; in my best teacher voice I explained that it doesn't matter if you know the owner or not, you knew you didn't own it. Who knew we'd be explaining these things to adults?
3. What to do when people's sin literally lands at your doorstep. One morning, we were awakened at 6am. Standing there crying was a sweet young mama and her two small children. She and her husband were traveling to family when they began arguing. Angered, her husband dropped her off at our house. We let her stay until he returned and encouraged reconciliation. Another young mama called me months later after he had hit her. We had her pack a bag and drove her to an out of town family member's home. James was talking with a man once when he literally passed out from whatever he had taken in our driveway. James picked him up and drove him to his mama's house. When a mama was fighting with her ex-husband and called to ask that we take the kids so they wouldn't witness the fight. We took them. Should we have insisted that they stay, hoping that would restrain the parents? I don't know? Were those the right things to do? I hope so. Much in life is black and white - do this, not that - but there are gray areas where you must rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you to know what is best.
4. I wasn't ready to be a pastor's wife. Granted, seminary has the Seminary Wives Institute, but I graduated before James graduated, so I missed attending those classes. My role as a pastor's wife has been on the job training. There have been blessings, victories, encouragements, tears, failures, disappointments, and intentional hurts. At times I have seriously questioned my ability to do this role. That's how hard it can me at times, folks. I'm thankful for other pastor's wives who have given wisdom and advice to me. They are invaluable to me.
5. How to prepare my son for ministry hardships. When we left Missouri, Hudson cried. A lot. It was the only home he knew. I know that we follow God and where he leads us. I know that the eternal reward outweighs today's sadness. Hudson doesn't yet understand that. What do you do when a church member places unfair expectations on your child? Do you correct them? Or do you explain to your child the pressure the whole family faces? Would that alleviate or add to the problem? This has probably been one of the hardest parts of ministry. For Hudson, church is fun. He LOVES it! But it is also sacrificial in nature. Just 6 months ago, James missed part of Hudson's 5th birthday because a community member had an emergency and needed someone to counsel her. Hudson sometimes overhears the not-so-pretty parts of church life that other children are spared. We emphasize that while the church isn't perfect that Jesus loves her and died for her and so we love her as well. It is my prayer that these experiences, both positive and not so much, will only deepen his young faith.
Part 2 will be the top 5 things I learned from Seminary.
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