Thankful for the Lord's Provision

The Lord is good. This week, he has provided through some sweet friends.

Ms. Gerry at church gave our baby his/her first gift - a sweet handmade blanket.

Isn't it's just the cutest?

Sabrina, a mom at the school I teach at, blessed me with a whole box of maternity clothes. I am so very thankful. While I'm not "maternity clothes" ready, I do know that these things can be quite expensive so we are so ever thankful to already have some on hand.

Plus, she has great style and so everything is super cute!

Another testimony of the Lord's provision - today I went to the local Medicaid office to apply for insurance. Remember - I'm "unique" and therefore uninsurable per every insurance company with whom I've applied. Anyway, it went so smoothly - considering I walk in at 4:00pm and they close at 4:30pm. The case worker I met was super nice, not too much paper work, etc... The last step is to get my school and James' school to fill out a proof of employment paper, then it should only be a matter of time until baby and me are covered. Plus, it'll be retroactive to today - so if anything should happen and I have to go to the doctor, we will be paid back for the costs. Pray for the last steps of this process to go as smoothly as the first steps.

So from the little things (like blankets and maternity clothes) to larger things (like insurance) to the biggest of all (the health and future salvation of our little one) I know I can trust the Lord to provide.

8 week appointment

Pregnancy: 7 weeks and 6 days

Due Date: still June 6, 2011

Mom's Weight: 113.3 Down .5 pound, thank you morning sickness :(

Mom's BP: 122/74

Baby's Heart Rate: 179 WOAH! I was concerned at the jump, but the doc says that's perfectly normal.

Good News - Doctor Paul says everything looks great. I am still measuring on time. I could see the sweet heart pumping (which is crazy!) and little arm and leg buds were visible. Plus, I don't have to go back for a month - for the 12 week appointment. Though I will be sad not to see him/her for that long. I kinda like seeing him/her every two weeks :)

Even Better News - My 12-week appointment is Nov. 23rd. JCPS and PCS are out that day which means I don't have to use a sick day and James will finally get to go with me.

Even Better Good News - I have my letter confirming my pregnancy so hopefully I'll be able to get insurance soon. For those of you who don't know, our insurance dropped us back in March as James had been out of seminary for over a year. Well, I tried and tried and no one (and I mean no one) would cover me due to my birth defect. Sadness. Fortunately, the state of KY is required to cover children (even unborn children) without insurance so I get covered by default. So now I just have to complete the application and turn it all in. While this isn't my ideal situation, I'll take it - God's provision is definitely best.

Announcing the Good News

James and I decided to tell our families this week. "What, before the 12 week mark? Isn't that bad luck?" We have several reasons to not delay sharing the good news.

First, we don't believe in luck. Second, we need all the prayers we can get - prayers for my health, prayers for the baby's health and strong development, and prayers for James to get a better job. Third, one of the reasons behind the tradition of waiting until the first trimester is over to tell is due to the risk of miscarriage. The thinking goes, why tell people if something bad might happen and you'd have to "un"tell them. Honestly, I think that is a lie of Satan. How many moms and dad have suffered in silence because they didn't want to bother family with the news of a pregnancy and miscarriage. God created us to be in community with one another, so while I do pray against miscarriage daily and would be heart-broken if I had to announce one I was not made to go through life alone. We need each other. So we are trusting the Lord with our baby and telling others so they can share in his goodness and pray for us.

Now that the why is out of the way, here's the how. James' family lives 6 hours away and mine is 3 hours away; so while ideally we would have preferred to tell everyone in person, with gas prices and the both of us working full-time it just wasn't practical. We thought of a phone call, but wanted it to be more special. So we wrote letters from the baby and included a copy of the ultrasound picture, in case anyone was confused.

Grandma & Grandpa P, MaMaw & PaPaw L, Aunt Mary & Uncle Keith, Aunt Rose & Uncle Dave, Aunt Sherry & Uncle Chuck, and Aunt Kay & Uncle Marvin - You have mail!

The Blessing of Morning Sickness

This has been my view lately.

Taking that into consideration, when reading the title of this post you may be thinking, "Huh? Crazy Title!" Let me explain:

First "Morning" Sickness is a bit of a misnomer. It doesn't restrain itself to the mornings. I am finding that I am generally only queasy in the mornings, unless brushing my teeth sets something off. It's the evenings that I tend to "lose" my dinner, literally. Which also means I lose my prenatal vitamin, folic acid, and other meds - sigh. I'm experimenting with taking my meds at different times so prevent losing them. My baby needs these medicines!

However, the Blessing part is not a misnomer. I thank the Lord that he has given me an attitude to count Morning Sickness as a blessing. You see, my body (though fearfully and wonderfully created) rarely responds appropriately. I'm kind of a medical marvel - ha! So, the fact that my body is doing what is expected - is a blessing to my little heart. While I know morning sickness is no indicator necessarily of a healthy baby - I would find myself fearful and worried more if I didn't feel sick so it is a blessing from the Lord. I pray daily that I can continue in this pregnancy until delivery - that I have a healthy and strong baby - and that I would not complain or take this gift for granted.

Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of Lights.

James 1:17

My First Picture

Today was my first OB appointment. Here are the stats:

Pregnancy: 6 weeks and 1 day

Due Date: June 6, 2011

Mom's Weight: 113.8

Mom's BP: 116/72

Baby's Heart Rate: 122

According to all the doctors, everything looks great thus far. I am so thankful to the Lord for his faithfulness. I repent of not having trusted him. Granted, we are no where near out of the woods as far as complications and whatnot. However, I am determined to take it one day at a time and just rejoice in the Lord's goodness.

God's Timing

Being pregnant after almost 2 years of trying has made me this a lot: "Why now, God?"

Why not early 2010? Perhaps because of my knee injury in January?

Why not late 2010? Who knows?

Why now? This has been my question.

Several sinful thoughts have run through my little depraved brain. First, I keep trying to find what I did to deserve this. Perhaps, it's has been my faith? Perhaps, the fact that I've been more consistent with my quiet time? Perhaps it's been the reward of all the pruning time God has spent in him early this year. Fortunately, just moments after these thoughts, the Holy Spirit quickened me with "You have done nothing - this is from God."

See, God is no respecter of persons. Matthew 5:45 says "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous..." God doesn't give blessings according to who we are or what we do - it's the result of his grace. Totally unmerited.

Second, God cannot be manipulated. If it was true that God allowed me to be pregnant because of something I did - then that would mean I could control God. If I pray enough, if I read my Bible enough, if I obey enough - then God will do what I want. That would be a faulty view of God and a very dangerous way to live. Daniel 9:14 says, "The Lord our God is just in everything he does."

So as long as God allows me to have this baby - whether it is simply a few weeks of pregnancy, through birth, or until I die - this baby is a gift. Totally undeserved, not the result of any manipulation on my part.

Our Story

James and I were married May 2008. He was still in graduate school, so we began birth control. In December 2009, James graduated with his Masters Degree. I was born with a birth defect called Sacral a-Genesis (part of the newly caused Caudal Regressive Syndrome) which affects my spine, hips, kidneys, etc... so in November/December 2009 I began heading to doctors specifically to ask if it was safe to try to conceive. Good News - while I am bound to be a challenge, it was safe. So after James graduated, I went off bcp.

Flash forward 22 months and we are finally pregnant. For the past 22 months, my body has rarely done what it was created to do. First, my cycles completely stopped! In 2009, I literally had 3 periods that weren't medically induced. The beginning of 2011 wasn't much better. In March, my doctor began me on clomid. It's a drug that causes your body to ovulate. "This is our chance!" was my thoughts, but alas after 3 cycles of clomid - nothing. But then the most amazing thing happened - my cycles returned on their own! June, July, and August - I had a 'natural' cycle - pretty on-time too! So imagine my surprise when on September 28th, my cycle didn't arrive.

I feared the worse - it was happening again. So I waited...I had all the symptoms - acne, tenderness in my chest, bloated, but no period. Finally on Monday October 3rd (6 days after my missed period) I took a pregnancy test. Now, let me let you know neither of us was expecting anything. We simply wanted to rule it out so I could call my doc and let her know my body was whacking out again. Imagine my surprise when low and behold - we have two pink lines.

The next morning (Tuesday) I took another one, just to be sure it wasn't a fluke. Another two pink lines. Now, we're cheap and were buying dollar-store pregnancy tests, so my friend at school recommended that I purchase a more expensive one. So Tuesday evening, I come home with the digital test. New test = same result. Looks like this is actually happening.

The View on Monday