Why not early 2010? Perhaps because of my knee injury in January?
Why not late 2010? Who knows?
Why now? This has been my question.
Several sinful thoughts have run through my little depraved brain. First, I keep trying to find what I did to deserve this. Perhaps, it's has been my faith? Perhaps, the fact that I've been more consistent with my quiet time? Perhaps it's been the reward of all the pruning time God has spent in him early this year. Fortunately, just moments after these thoughts, the Holy Spirit quickened me with "You have done nothing - this is from God."
See, God is no respecter of persons. Matthew 5:45 says "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous..." God doesn't give blessings according to who we are or what we do - it's the result of his grace. Totally unmerited.
Second, God cannot be manipulated. If it was true that God allowed me to be pregnant because of something I did - then that would mean I could control God. If I pray enough, if I read my Bible enough, if I obey enough - then God will do what I want. That would be a faulty view of God and a very dangerous way to live. Daniel 9:14 says, "The Lord our God is just in everything he does."
So as long as God allows me to have this baby - whether it is simply a few weeks of pregnancy, through birth, or until I die - this baby is a gift. Totally undeserved, not the result of any manipulation on my part.