Thursday, January 5, 2012

My No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day

Ever have one of those days where you feel like you are under constant spiritual attack? Today was that day for me. You might want to sit down.

First, I barely slept last night. I kept telling myself not to worry about the insurance hearing today, but my mind did not listen so up at 4:00 am was I.

Second, we had no water at the house - nice surprise. That meant no shower, no flushing, no washing hands, brushing teeth without water, etc.... Not the way I had planned to get ready for the day.

Third, I went to my urologist appointment. As you can guess, I'm getting rather proficient at the giving of the urine sample. But today ... oh geez. I placed the nice, full cup on the back of the toilet like I always do and proceeded to wash my hands. Now Dr. B's restroom isn't exactly tiny so I'm a good 2-3 feet from the toilet. I look over and it was literally has if an invisible hand pushed the cup off the toilet. Down to the floor it fell - urine everywhere. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. I tried cleaning it up the best I could; then I found the nurse and asked her for a mop. She looked confused so I explained what happened. Of course, she didn't allow me to clean it up despite my pleading that I could clean it. I was apologizing profusely and she was so sweet and acted like she mops up pee everyday. Perhaps she does, I don't know. But it was embarassing nonetheless.

Fourth, Dr. B my urologist (Who is awesome by the way; did I tell you he called me on Christmas Day to check up on me? Christmas Day, people!) comes in and reveals I still have an UTI. It's the same nasty germ that started all this havoc way back in November. Despite two rounds of different antibiotics, it won't go away. He thinks it may be coming from an obstruction in my ureters or kidneys. Normally, he would do a CT scan or an IVP but that's a no-no on a pregnant mama. He wants to do a kidney ultrasound instead. So I'm to call him in 2 days after he's talked to my OB and thought about what to do. While my thyroid likes me being pregnant, my bladder apparently does not.

Fifth, our appeal hearing did not go exactly as I had imagined. While both our caseworker and the Appeal Hearing Officer were both very sweet and understanding, the fact remains that they cannot change Kentucky's income limit and sadly no matter how you cut it, we're above it. Even if I quit my job tomorrow (the thought did cross my mind) and we only lived on James' subbing we'd still be over the maximum. We were there for two hours. I cried for the most part of it. James lost his temper about half-way through and got on his soap box and literally yelled at them about how the system is set up to reward those who live unbiblically. You see, if James and I weren't married it would be a completely different story, even if we lived together and shared bills - we would be easily approved. It really isn't fair - but apparently there isn't anything that could be done about it today. The Appeal Hearing Officer didn't make a decision today, we'll know within 10 days but I don't expect anything to change.

Needless to say, today has felt like one big spiritual warfare attack.

But the Lord is kind and I do have some praises for today:

First, the water will be back on tomorrow morning and our sweet landlords are putting us up in a hotel tonight. Yay for their kindness.

Second, Dr. B was able to call my OB and next Tuesday when they do the ultrasound to find out Baby Lackey's gender, they are going to allow the radiologist to ultrasound my kidneys and fax the pictures to Dr. B. This is a great blessing as I will basically have two ultrasounds but only have to pay for one.

Third, the Lord is kind. Between the urologist and appeal hearing we stopped for lunch. I sat in the car alone for a while praying. The Lord was kind to remind me of the story of Joseph's life. The assurance that nothing happens to me without being filtered through his sovereign hands first. While I don't know right now why he has allowed today to be so rough, I know it has a purpose in his plan. There's an old gospel song intitled, "Trust his Heart." The lyrics have been running through my head today. The Lord is good regardless of whatever occured today.

Fourth, while I'm still a hot mess emotionally, James is doing good. He's moved past his anger at KY and is brainstorming what to do next. I'm thankful that the Lord designed marriage in such a way, because if it were just me I'd probably crawl in a hole for a few days but James is here to spur on and get things done.

Fifth, I praise God for you! Thank you for your prayers - even though today wasn't exactly the happy ending I was hoping to write about, God is still good and I hope he repays each of you for your kindness in praying for us.

Consider it joy, my brothers
when you meet trials of various kinds,
for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
And let steadfastness have its full effect,
that you may be perfect and complete,
lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4 ESV


  1. Friend, I pray that God continues to walk you through this with His peace and light! I pray that God provides complete and total healing for your UTI and that he provides a way for you to have insurance before this baby is born. Here's what I know about God, when the situation seems IMPOSSIBLE, that's when our Heavenly God is glorified most. He is the KING of impossible situations.

    Love you and pray that ALL things work together for you and James who are CALLED according to His purpose.



  2. I don't know what to say. I can't fix it, but God can! I know that that urine going on the floor was bad...but it could be worse. I know that you being turned down is bad...but it could be worse. I know none of that helps because right now you feel that you are in a bad situation and it is your situation. But it's not just yours. It's mine to. Trust in Romans 8:28. All His promises are sure! I love you, Sis! I love my brother who has some Bessie in him at times! I also love my sweet niece! God is faithful and He has been to you thus far. Still praying!

  3. Melissa, God is already answering your prayers even though you may not have uttered them yet. He loves to have us ask Him for daily wants and needs. He is ready with the answer even in the smallest request that we sometimes think He is too busy to to want to be bothered. I am praying that things will work out for you and James. (Insurance wise.)

  4. I'm sorry for your horrible, no good very bad day friend. Praying for you. He holds the cattle on a thousand hills. For this to He shall provide. In His time and His way.

  5. Thanks for all the sweet comments all. Mary - you can't call baby your "Niece" just yet. Three more days :)