17 Weeks

Ignore both the mess on the floor and the tired face as this picture was taken after we got home late Wednesday night from celebrating Christmas with my TN family.

Profile shot for a better view.

I went to Dr. V for my follow-up from labs last week. Good News - my numbers are perfecto. Apparently my thyroid likes me being pregnant. Plus my A1C numbers and BUN (kidney function) are perfectly normal as well. Praise God for encouraging news! Now if I can get my bladder on board - ha!

One week from today (1/5/12) we have our insurance hearing. I'm praying for favor with the insurance people and that I don't cry. Though perhaps if I do, their hearts will soften. The Lord has been kind to give me peace about it. After all, they can't repossess the baby :) so if we deliver with no insurance the doctors and hospital will just have to be patient while we pay them off.

Humility & the Lord's Provision

The Lord has been pleased this week in particular to provide for some needs in very spectacular ways.

First, Mrs. Sherry at our church is in charge of the food baskets at church. Thursday before Christmas she called to say she prepared a basket for James and I. Now we're poor, but trust me we still eat - my expanding waist line can't solely be blamed on Baby Lackey. :) However this act of kindness was a huge blessing in that it is food we don't have to buy, thereby saving our resources. What was even kinder was my conversation with Mrs. Sherry. I commented "You didn't have to do that for us" to which she responded not "well I know you guys are having a hard time, etc.." Rather she stated a very simple, "I know but I wanted to." What kindness she exibited not to remind me of our situation. It may seem like a trivial comment, but it meant a lot to me.

Second, so many people have given us little gifts: encouraging cards, kind words, hugs, reminders of their prayers, gift cards, etc... this Christmas.

Third, our Sunday School teachers' daughter gave us some of her things from when her daughter was a baby. Particularly a Pack-n-Play, Car Seat, several sets of crib sheets, and an adorable hooded towel. Sure, I could get these things through Baby Showers, but I hate to ask people.

Fourth, Christmas evening our doorbell rings. Not expecting company I answer the door to find a couple who I've never seen before (or atleast I didn't recognize them). The wife asks if I'm Melissa then hands me a card says Merry Christmas and leaves. The card contained a very, very generous financial gift signed simply "Friends." By the time I opened the card and realized what had occured, they had driven away.

These acts of provision (combined with my pregnancy hormones) cued the onset of many tears. Now let me be honest and say these weren't tears of happiness or joy. These were tears of humility and repentance.

You see I struggle almost daily with trusting the Lord. I may talk a good talk, but mostly I am trying to convince myself of the truths my brain knows but my heart struggles to believe. The Lord has revealed to me this week through his kindness that my struggle to trust him is planted firmly in pride.

My pride is rooted in self-sufficency/self-reliance and anxiety.

I have never been one to be on the "receiving" end. I have almost always been able to take care of myself. I would rather take on multiple jobs or struggle greatly than ask for help. My parents raised me to be independent, which is good, but I find interdependence (which is a biblical-lifestyle) very difficult.

Moses reminds the people of Israel (and me) of the danger of this kind of pride.

In Deuteronomy 8:11-17 he says:

Beware . . . lest, when you have eaten and are satisfied, and have built good houses and lived in them, and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and gold multiply . . . then your heart becomes proud, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out from the land of Egypt . . . [and you] say in your heart, "My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth."

While I have never verbalized that attitude outloud, I do take pride in being able to fend for myself. I don't want people's help - I don't like how it feels to receive to be helped or served.

My self-sufficiency also causes me to be anxious about the future because deep-down I know I can't control all. What exactly am I afraid of, you ask? Everything! Afraid that the baby will die, afraid that the baby will be born with some kind of birth defect, afraid of not living near family and not knowing what to do with a baby, afraid that I'll have to go back to work in the fall, afraid that James will never get the ministry position he longs for, afraid the Lord will keep us in this holding-pattern forever. How stupidly sinful of me.

In Isaiah 51:12-13, the Lord admonishes Israel (and me, again) with these words:

I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, and of the son of man who is made like grass; that you have forgotten the Lord your Maker?

Friends, Please pray:

• That the Lord will bless those who have blessed us. Their generosity is a testimony to their faith and I pray that the Lord rewards their kindness.
• That the Lord will give me endurance as he refines me. My pride of self-sufficiency and anxiety are smacked in the face when the Lord shows his kindness to me. The Lord is kind to discipline me. The Lord's dicipline isn't comfortable at all, but I know it is what is best for me.
• That I will live the words of 1 Peter 4:19 "Entrust your soul to a faithful Creator."

Now, I'm going to go finish crying and repenting. *sigh*

Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?
Does this mean nothing to you?
Can't you see that his kindess is intended to turn you from your sin?
Romans 2:4 NLT

16 Weeks

I don't feel like the belly has grown a lot since last week, but looking at the pictures it would appear my feelings are faulty. Here I am in all my glory below. Don't expect many more bare belly shots.

I had a visit with the urologist, Dr. B, today. Apparently my UTIs are sulfa-resistant hence why the macrobid I've been on hasn't been working. I could have told him that and saved us both time and me money. He was cracking me up trying to find an appropriate antibiotic because it seemed that everytime he blinked he forgot that I was pregnant and he needed to find a "safe" medicine. He did finally find one that satisified him and hopefully will kill this nasty thing. Though I feel fine - I'm totally asymptomatic - I'm not sure if that's a blessing or not?

Other random pregnant thoughts:

• On our way back from Christmas in WV, we stopped at the Pizza Hut in Mt. Sterling because they have a lunch buffet (why don't more Pizza Huts have this?). I, who normally am a plain pepperoni and cheese girl, ate several slices of pepperoni with jalepenos, green peppers, and red onions. It was so tasty! Apparently, I am carrying my father's grandbaby.
• Christmas is in 3 days. The Lord is kind and we've been invited by PCS family for Christmas Eve fun and food and church family for Christmas Day lunch. If you can't be with "real" family on Christmas - work and church family are a definite God-given substitute.
• I am officially in maternity clothes now. While the Lord has been gracious to provide free hand-me-down maternity clothes, the only down-side I've found is that I am short and the people who have given are tall. Not so much a problem with tops or dresses/skirts, but pants are another story. Perhaps I'll break down and take some to a tailor. More likely, I'll just roll them up - hee hee.
• 18 days and we'll find out with Baby Lackey will be a he or she - can't wait!
  

15 Week Appointment

Stats from the appointment:

My weight - 118

My BP - 120/65

Baby's Heart Rate - 150

I got to see Dr. Paul, who is my "normal" doctor. (The practice I go to has 6 doctors in total and they like for you to see everyone at some point throughout your pregnancy just in case a different doc is on call and you need them). She was able to pinpoint Baby Lackey's heartrate on the first try! That is a super huge praise to the Lord. After finding the heartbeat, Dr. Paul pushed around on my abdomen a bit feeling Baby Lackey and commented, "Wow s/he's really active." Yep - that's my Baby - ADHD in utero! Love it!

Another Praise! I won a free 3D Ultrasound. Back at my 12 Week appointment, I put my name in a drawing for a free 3D Ultrasound give-a-way. Today I found out that I won! I never win anything. Part of me thinks they picked my name on purpose, but I'll take the blessing either way. Added Praise - the 3D Ultrasound is scheduled for Friday March 2nd, which is a Professional Development Day for James so he can come without missing work!

Prayer Request - Apparently, I have another/or the same UTI. I have had no symptoms, but my bladder's angry nonetheless. Dr. Paul wants me to call and schedule an appointment with my urologist to get it checked out more thoroughly. Please pray for my bladder - it's got issues but I know its nothing the Lord can't work through so I just need to trust him.

I am still confident of this

I will see the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living.

Psalm 27:13

15 Weeks

Today Baby Lackey is 15 weeks

I think I feel Baby Lackey moving around in there once in a while - particularly after eating. It could be gas. Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure that's beginning as well - haha. Good thing I teach 2nd grade and have 23 little ones in my class on which to place the blame. Not that I would ever do that. :)

Tomorrow, I have a routine follow-up doctor visit. I'm hoping and praying the doppler-thingy works properly and they are able to find the heartbeat quickly. I definitely do not want a repeat of last time. I'm not sure why, but I always start getting really nervous before a doctor's visit. I begin worrying about everything: the health of the baby, the cost of the visit, being away from my classroom, etc... I consistently have to remind myself that the Lord is good and is using all these experiences to build my faith and trust, which is ultimately for my greater good and his glory. Please pray for me to learn this truth (again).

Trust in the Lord

with all your heart

and lean not on your understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

14 Weeks

Wednesday 12/7 - Baby Lackey is now 14 weeks - only 26 weeks to go.

I think I am beginning to feel little "flutters." Perhaps it's just my tummy grumbling and such, but I like to think it's Baby Lackey doing his/her little flips in there.

Our next appointment is Thursday (12/15) and should be a routine weigh in and check baby's heartbeat. Though I'm afraid to say it out loud, I think perhaps the morning sickness phase has passed *fingers crossed.* I'm feeling more energized and my appetite is back, which is nice.

Insurance Update - our appeal hearing is scheduled. It's January 5th at 1:00 pm. That's the exact day and time we were to have our "gender" ultrasound. So today, I had to call and reschedule. Sadness. But they had an opening January 10th, which is my birthday, so it should be a fun day :) Please pray for the hearing - pray for favor with the Appeal Officer, understanding, and an ease of bureaucratic nonsense.

My Family

This weekend was my Dad's annual Christmas Party. It's a party they throw each year for my grandfather's remaining siblings. It's a wonderful time as I usually only see these aunts/uncles once a year - sad, I know.

James and I have literally no family in Kentucky, though we both grew up close to our family.

I lived on the same street as three of my Dad's seven siblings with another uncle and my grandparents one street over. My Mom's parents and brother lived just 20 minutes away. James actually lived with his maternal grandparents and his father's parents were in town as well. So we both have memories of being around family all.the.time. Being pregnant has awakened within me a new desire to be around family. I want Baby Lackey to know his/her great-great aunts/uncles, great aunts/uncles, etc...

Presently the Lord is not calling us to go closer to home, whether TN or WV - but to stay in KY. In fact the doors that have opened as far as jobs and such have tended to be even farther away from family. So I took tons of pictures this weekend so that Baby Lackey will at least have family to "look" at.

My stepmom, Sue and me

My Dad and me - as I have aged, I have realized that I am A LOT like him!

Adorable nephew, Woovens and me

My gorgeous sister, Sharon and me

Sweet cousin Lesa and me.

My great-aunt Mildred and me

The Lord has been good to provide friends who are like family and several have already designated themselves as the "Louisville Grandma, Aunt, etc..." but I do worry about our baby growing up away from family.

So friends, I need advice. How do you deal with living away from family? How do you teach your child about the people of your family when they don't get to "see" them but once or twice a year?

Thankful for the Lord's provision - Part III

Today, I want to praise God for his provision in three specific ways.

First, a sweet Sunday School class at our church gave us a very generous gift Sunday evening. It was generous in two specific ways. The sweet words inside were so encouraging - to know someone cares and is praying for you - it makes a world of difference. Plus there was an unexpected gift which we were able to use to cover groceries that evening.

Second, Mrs. F who works at my school's pre-school stopped by to ask if I could use any hand-me-down maternity clothes. The answer of course is yes (see picture below).

(Today Baby Lackey is 13 weeks -

I guess the OB nurse wasn't kidding when she said Baby had no where to go but out)

Meanwhile, back to my point...

To my surprise she walked in a few minutes later with a huge plastic box full of maternity clothes.

So sweet and generous. Plus I'm thankful for Mrs. G's son who both carried the box into the car and onto the front porch for me this afternoon.

Third, after the crazy emotional first two days of this work week, I am so thankful that it pleased the Lord for today to be low-stress and tear-free :) This morning as I was reading Scripture and praying, I kept thinking about the encounter Jesus had with the father of a boy whom he healed of an unclean spirit. (read about it here.) I love, love, love that Jesus doesn't simply heal the boy and bid goodbye but spends time with the father.

In their conversation, the father confesses to Jesus, "I believe. Help my unbelief!" As a younger believer I didn't understand this. How could you believe and not believe at the same time? That can't be right - you either do or you don't. However, as I have matured in my faith and the Lord has grown me I think that statement sums up most days of my walk with him. I believe. I want to believe. I want to believe more. However I am still plagued with doubts, fear, and worry. It's a lived-out reality of what Paul says in Romans 7 "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." Thankfully - we don't have to be the ones to carry it out.

Timothy Keller writes:

The boy's father says, "I'm not faithful, I am riddled with doubts, and I cannot

muster the strength necessary to meet my moral and spiritual challenges. But

help me." That's saving faith - faith in Jesus instead of in oneself. Perfect

righteousness is impossible for us, and if you wait for that, you will never come

into the presence of God. You must admit that you are not righteous, and that

you need help. When you can say that, you are approaching God to worship.

So tonight I praise the Lord for specifically for this reassurance that I can't do this on my own and God doesn't want me to even try to do it alone - Jesus is able to take care of everything for me and in reality, he already has.

The Sweetest Sound

Today I had an impromptu OB visit.

I was 99% sure I had an UTI. I debated between calling my urologist versus my OB, but reasoned that baby trumps all so to the OB I went.

After the obligatory urine sample, the Nurse Practitioner said she wanted to use the doppler-thingy to check Baby Lackey's heartbeat. I was thankful as I had already decided to ask her to do so just to be safe. (I have seriously become a worry-wart)

After what seemed like forever, no heartbeat could be found. Dr. S had some trouble finding the heartbeat last week at my 12 week appointment, but eventually she found it. However, the NP just couldn't locate it. Hello panic mode.

From there, they took me to the "little waiting room." The little waiting room is never a good thing, in my book. Of course I was bawling by this point so they really didn't want me freaking out the other patients. After what seemed like forever - again - I am called for the ultrasound.

Words can't express just how frightened I was. I didn't even want to look at the screen. Fortunately, the Lord in his kindness revealed that sweet Baby Lackey was still there and his/her little heart was still beating (153 bpm) - sweetest sound I have ever heard.

Enjoy these pictures:

I have so much to be thankful for after today's visit:

1) Antibiotics! Hopefully I will be back to my normal self in a day or two.

2) An unnamed sweet older lady. When I entered the dreaded "little waiting room" there was an older lady in there. She looked at me and immediately asked, "Do you need a hug?" to which I nodded yes. She hugged me for quite a while - didn't say anything - just gave me a hug until the doc called her out. I have no idea if she is a believer or not. I don't even know her name and didn't say a word to her, but I am confident that the Lord used her today as his arms to comfort me and for that I am thankful.

3) Technology - While the doppler-thingy isn't on my favorite list right now, I am thankful that I am pregnant at the time when technology exists enabling us to "see" our little one and know with some certainty if anything is wrong.

I do have to repent. My trust in the Lord was seriously tested today when they couldn't find the heartbeat and I'm sad to report that I don't think I held my faith very well. I know my reaction was completely normal and expected, but my first thought wasn't "God is control" but rather intense fear, worry and thoughts of worse-case scenarios. Thankfully the Lord did quicken my spirit with random scriptures to think on while I waited and prayed so I know he was with me, even when I questioned that fact. Isn't he kind? The Lord is faithful even when I struggle to be.

Wait and hope for and expect the Lord,

be brave and of good courage,

and let your heart be stout and enduring.

Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

Denied

That's what I heard today from the caseworker who has been in charge of my insurance application.

It was not a fun conversation. There were tears - lots of them. The caseworker was absolutely no help. When I asked about appealing she basically gave me the run around and said my only option was to go to another office location and reapply. After pushing her, she finally gave me a number to the main office in Frankfort.

Enter about an hour of crying. My poor students had no idea what was going on. I had to leave the room because I didn't want to answer questions from 23 little ones. Sweet Mrs. G sacrificed the majority of her break to keep them entertained while I gathered myself and cried on the principal's shoulders. (Did I mention that I am not a "pretty" crier - you know those people who shed tears and still look great? Yeah, that's so not me.)

Once I stopped crying, I called Frankfort. After being transferred a few times, I finally ended up with the number for the appeal office and was told I needed to write a request for an appeal hearing and fax them every piece of information I gave to/received from the caseworker. This is no guarantee things will go my way at all, but at least there is an option. Four hours later after fighting both with our campus' fax machine and internet - the letter and information was sent.

So friends, I am asking you to pray.

First, pray for favor with Frankfort. I need this insurance as no one else will cover me. I need this insurance quickly. James and I are already in the hole almost a thousand dollars in self-pay doctor's visits and we have three more visits scheduled before the end of the year.

Second and most importantly, please pray for the Lord to build my trust. I know he has not and will not abandon us. I know he has a plan. I know he is good even when situations aren't. I must trust him.

Give attention to the sound of my cry,

my King and my God,

for to you do I pray.

Psalm 5:2

12 Week Appointment

Today I am 12 weeks - yahoo! Goodbye First Trimester - Hello Second Trimester. In honor of the occasion, I took a picture. A sad picture, I know. I have yet to figure out how to work the self-timer feature, so enter the mirror picture.

Hello baby bump. The OB nurse at my 8 week appointment told me that since I am little and extremely short-waisted the baby would have no where to go but out. So, even though I have only gained 3 pounds - hello baby bump.

This afternoon I had my 12 weeks appointment. I was kinda bummed that we didn't get to "see" the baby. This is my first pregnancy so I have no idea what to expect at appointments so I had thought we'd get to "see" Baby Lackey at every appointment. Oops. We did get to hear the heartbeat with that doppler-thingy. Here are today's stats:

My weight - 116 (still just 3 pounds gained total)

My BP - 120/70

Baby's Heartbeat - 159 - This is down 20 bpm, I was concerned (I'm finding that I'm always concerned - lol) but the doc said it was normal for a baby's fetal heartbeat to fluctuate a bit and that it is usually due to movement/resting periods throughout the day.

Bad News - our insurance still hasn't kicked in. I called last Friday for an update and was told my application had been processed and that I should receive the letter in the mail soon. That was almost a week ago - no letter. So we're still waiting and trusting the Lord to provide.

Good News - now that I'm entering the second trimester, I get to stop taking two of my meds - yahoo!

Best News - January 5th is D-Day. D-Day as in we'll find out whether Baby Lackey is a girl or a boy.

The Lord is good to all;

He has compassion on all he has made.

Psalm 145:9

Pregnancy Brain: 3 - Melissa: 0

I have pregnancy brain. Seriously, it's a disorder. According to webmd.com, pregnancy brain is basically bouts of forgetfulness due to surging hormones, a change in priorities, and spatial memory issues. I am afflicted. Take yesterday for instance:

• I was in charge of today's field trip (bad idea - lol) and in my "fog" hadn't read the invoice closely. It clearly states "Tickets will be mailed to school with prepayment." Our sweet (and detail-oriented) secretary noticed this. Enter panic mode. Prayers were prayed and fingers were crossed as I called the facility. Thankfully, we could purchase tickets at the door. Crisis averted.

• As apart of this evil field trip I was coordinating, I needed to give the director of the facility our total number attending. I added the same three numbers three* times. 88 + 6 + 9 = 93. My first answer = incorrect. 88 + 6 + 9 = 103. Yes! I can add! Then I recount and realized I had miscounted and my numbers were wrong. 88 + 6 + 13 = 107. I only got this correct because sweet school secretary took pity on my soul and added it herself to double-check me. It wouldn't be so bad that I can't add - except I called facility director each time to say "Here are our total numbers = 93; Ok so I can't add this time we have a final number of 103; No wait - I can't count I promise it's 107." Seriously, between calls and emails I contacted this lady no less than 4 times yesterday.

• When leaving to go home, I had to go to the room 3 separate times because I kept forgetting things: first my bag, then my keys.

I used to be organized. I used to be able to multitask. I used to remember everything. Now - no such luck. James has never been the organized one of us, but I've been able to keep our household up and running the past three years. Now - oh geesh. Here's praying Baby Lackey will inherit my former, long forgotten organization genes. Perhaps he/she will be able to keep me together because at this rate - I'm bound to forget the little guy/gal somewhere. *sigh*

*NOTE this has been edited. The original post said "four times" but it was only three. I can't count anymore! See what I'm talking about? It's a good thing I only teach second grade. :)

Thankful for the Lord's Provision - Part II

Most of you know that my mom passed away when I was 18. I have a wonderful step-mom, sister, and great friends back home; but that's back home. Both James' and my families/childhood friends live hours away in other states. Therefore at times I feel kinda orphaned. Particularly when facing difficult times or when I have questions simply because Mom isn't close by. (Disclaimer - yes, there is always the phone, email and facebook - it's just not the same.)

However, the Lord is kind. He provides people in our lives to guide us, particularly when we feel there is no one else. Meet two such people in my life:

Mrs. G

Mrs. B

Mrs. G & Mrs. B teach at the same school at which I teach. Mrs. B teaches 3rd and Mrs. G teaches 6th and I can say in all honesty we have a lot of fun at school - pranks, trading lesson ideas, laughing about our students, etc... They make work fun.

Both are solid believers who seek to be obedient to the Lord in their lives and encourage the same in others. Mrs. G is a former nurse with tons of medical knowledge. Mrs. B has a Masters in Education and is certified pretty much from birth to death therefore she knows all about child development. Plus, between the two of them they have been married about 40 years and have raised 7 young men to teenagehood/adulthood (and survived - both the boys and them - ha). Therefore, in my book they are pretty qualified to give advice. Being fairly newly married (3 years) and now pregnant for the first time - I always have tons of questions: random questions, serious questions, and embarrassing questions.

Plus, they are just stinkin' sweet. Check out what awaited me Tuesday morning at work:

Courtesy of Mrs. G

I am thankful to the Lord for their wisdom and friendship. If you ever feel alone, I pray you look around and realize that the Lord in his kindness has most likely put people in your lives who are available and qualified to help guide you. The Lord is definitely good and provides all things.

The Lord will supply all my needs,

according to his riches in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

10 Week Appointment (kinda)

Today, I am 10 weeks (really almost 11) and had a somewhat-semi 10-week appointment.

First, I saw Dr. V my endocrinologist.

Weight - 116.8 - that's up a whopping 3 pounds people despite morning sickness - woah.

My BP - 118/65

My Heart Rate - 87

Good News - my thyroid is doing so good - I'm actually able to divide my pills in half as I don't need to take that high of a dose anymore - yahoo!

Then, this afternoon I saw dear sweet Dr. C.

Dr. C is an OB/GYN doc who is also one of the professors at the seminary both James and I graduated from. Dr. C not only teaches several classes (mostly in the counseling department) but also "doctors" people at the school clinic and moms in need at a local crisis pregnancy center. He agreed to try out his new sonogram machine on me this afternoon. So, while it wasn't an official OB visit with Dr. P - it was a chance to see my dear baby.

Stats: Still measuring on-time (10 weeks, 6 days).

All parts, to be seen at this stage of development, were accounted for.

Baby Lackey is either training to be a gymnast or a boxer - he/she was ALL OVER THE PLACE - punching, kicking, flipping. At one point he/she flipped upside down and turned

back right side up. (Guess that Reeces' Cup I ate on the way paid off - ha)

Sadly, I don't have pics/video at this time. Dr. C's machine is so new the printer isn't hooked up yet, but as soon as I can get a flash drive to him - he'll upload 4 sweet pictures and one awesome video. So expect them soon :)

---------

God is so kind to provide another opportunity to see my baby. Before coming today, I found myself severely anxious about it. While excited, I always get nervous that they'll find something wrong. Fortunately, I was comforted that if something was wrong, I'd want to hear it from Dr. C - I know he loves the Lord, would be realistic about any situation, and lead me to Jesus for comfort. Of course, so far the Lord has been pleased to let everything progress normally. I, personally think he's showing off because I technically shouldn't be able to walk (but I do), shouldn't be pregnant (but I am), and shouldn't have a "normal" baby (which I'm praying for). I'm ok with that - I like it when God shows off! :)

My grace is sufficient for you, my power made perfect in your weakness.

Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that

Christ's power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:7-9

My love-hate affair with Vitamins

I am no fan of prenatal vitamins:

Actually, I am a fan - I am thankful for the fact that the Lord has provided vitamins so my baby will have the most nutrients, etc... However, actually taking the vitamins - that's the problem.

First, the stinkers are HUGE! I don't swallow pills well anyway, but big pills- geesh.

Second, they stink. They contain anchovies and sardines for the DHA/Omega 3 value. I'm not the biggest fan of fish, particularly because of the smells. Just opening the bottle is enough to make me get sick - psychosomatic, I know.

Third, they make me sick. I've experimented with taking them in the evening, in the morning, as I start eating, as I finish eating, letting them "air out" for a while beforehand, yada yada yada. Regardless, about 30 minutes after choking one down, I succumb to nausea.

So, at my 8-week appointment a few weeks ago, I asked Dr. P what to do. She suggested switching to good ole' Flintstones. Now, I am resourceful (read: cheap) and we had already bought two bottles of these vitamins. They were on sale, buy one get one free, so that's 120 pills. I didn't want to switch until I had used them up. Resourceful, I am - yeah, I'm cheap.

However, as I'm nearing the end of my first trimester I find my morning sickness actually worsening. Gone are the days of only nausea in the mornings - now I get sick both morning and night with nausea on and off all day long.

Finally, my sweet husband took matters into his own hands and purchased two bottles of dear of Fred, Wilma, Pebbles and Dino.

Glorious Flintstones. I've been on them for almost a week now and the morning sickness has subsided dramatically. Granted, I'm still sick in the mornings (I have a tendency to get up and get moving a little too quickly for Baby Lackey) but the evening and daily nausea are pretty much gone.

Thank God for the Flintstones - seriously, I'm thankful for these little guys.

Be thankful in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Notebook

No, not the movie - this notebook:

What is this, you ask? It's my prayer notebook for our sweet baby. It serves several purposes.

1) I often find prayer difficult. I love praying - love that I can talk with the One True God anytime I want/need. However, my mind is so weak and easily distracted. I often begin daydreaming as my mind wanders. I think the catholics may be on to something with the whole rosary thing. Anyway, this notebook forces me to focus more as I write my prayers.

2) It serves as a record of God's faithfulness. I find that as I re-read my prayers, I am encouraged to see how God provided whatever was needed.

3) It builds my faith. Similar to #2, being reminded of God's faithfulness to me builds my faith when times are scary or I am stressed. God will take care of me - his way is best.

4) I hope it will one day serve as a testimony to our child. I hope that when our child is born and older (at least old enough to read) this notebook will teach them of the faithfulness and goodness of our God. I pray God will use it to encourage our child to love and follow him.

What do you do to keep your prayer time focused?

Random Thoughts of a Pregnant Woman

• It is much easier for me to keep my composure while nauseous at school than at home. I guess that's one of the blessings of marriage - the freedom to be weak.
• My students draw pictures of my baby. I really hope my baby doesn't look like their pictures. Otherwise, my child will have an extra large head, seriously crooked eyes, and not all the proper appendages.
• Friends are the best - especially friends who share the umm...blessings of breast feeding. I had no idea all the crazy things could happen that they mentioned. I guess that's why the Lord gives you 9 months to get mentally prepared.
• Funny Story: I'm the "dismissal lady" at my school. So I stand in the lobby and call students to the office whose parents decide to walk in and get them rather than use the carline. So, the other day sweet Ruby was leaving school. Her family was half-way out the door when she turns around and runs back to me. "Mrs. Lackey," she says. "I hope you have a good baby." I reply, "Thank you Ruby, I do too. But if I don't - I'll just spank him." Wide eyed and silent, she runs out the door.

Thankful for the Lord's Provision

The Lord is good. This week, he has provided through some sweet friends.

Ms. Gerry at church gave our baby his/her first gift - a sweet handmade blanket.

Isn't it's just the cutest?

Sabrina, a mom at the school I teach at, blessed me with a whole box of maternity clothes. I am so very thankful. While I'm not "maternity clothes" ready, I do know that these things can be quite expensive so we are so ever thankful to already have some on hand.

Plus, she has great style and so everything is super cute!

Another testimony of the Lord's provision - today I went to the local Medicaid office to apply for insurance. Remember - I'm "unique" and therefore uninsurable per every insurance company with whom I've applied. Anyway, it went so smoothly - considering I walk in at 4:00pm and they close at 4:30pm. The case worker I met was super nice, not too much paper work, etc... The last step is to get my school and James' school to fill out a proof of employment paper, then it should only be a matter of time until baby and me are covered. Plus, it'll be retroactive to today - so if anything should happen and I have to go to the doctor, we will be paid back for the costs. Pray for the last steps of this process to go as smoothly as the first steps.

So from the little things (like blankets and maternity clothes) to larger things (like insurance) to the biggest of all (the health and future salvation of our little one) I know I can trust the Lord to provide.

8 week appointment

Pregnancy: 7 weeks and 6 days

Due Date: still June 6, 2011

Mom's Weight: 113.3 Down .5 pound, thank you morning sickness :(

Mom's BP: 122/74

Baby's Heart Rate: 179 WOAH! I was concerned at the jump, but the doc says that's perfectly normal.

Good News - Doctor Paul says everything looks great. I am still measuring on time. I could see the sweet heart pumping (which is crazy!) and little arm and leg buds were visible. Plus, I don't have to go back for a month - for the 12 week appointment. Though I will be sad not to see him/her for that long. I kinda like seeing him/her every two weeks :)

Even Better News - My 12-week appointment is Nov. 23rd. JCPS and PCS are out that day which means I don't have to use a sick day and James will finally get to go with me.

Even Better Good News - I have my letter confirming my pregnancy so hopefully I'll be able to get insurance soon. For those of you who don't know, our insurance dropped us back in March as James had been out of seminary for over a year. Well, I tried and tried and no one (and I mean no one) would cover me due to my birth defect. Sadness. Fortunately, the state of KY is required to cover children (even unborn children) without insurance so I get covered by default. So now I just have to complete the application and turn it all in. While this isn't my ideal situation, I'll take it - God's provision is definitely best.

Announcing the Good News

James and I decided to tell our families this week. "What, before the 12 week mark? Isn't that bad luck?" We have several reasons to not delay sharing the good news.

First, we don't believe in luck. Second, we need all the prayers we can get - prayers for my health, prayers for the baby's health and strong development, and prayers for James to get a better job. Third, one of the reasons behind the tradition of waiting until the first trimester is over to tell is due to the risk of miscarriage. The thinking goes, why tell people if something bad might happen and you'd have to "un"tell them. Honestly, I think that is a lie of Satan. How many moms and dad have suffered in silence because they didn't want to bother family with the news of a pregnancy and miscarriage. God created us to be in community with one another, so while I do pray against miscarriage daily and would be heart-broken if I had to announce one I was not made to go through life alone. We need each other. So we are trusting the Lord with our baby and telling others so they can share in his goodness and pray for us.

Now that the why is out of the way, here's the how. James' family lives 6 hours away and mine is 3 hours away; so while ideally we would have preferred to tell everyone in person, with gas prices and the both of us working full-time it just wasn't practical. We thought of a phone call, but wanted it to be more special. So we wrote letters from the baby and included a copy of the ultrasound picture, in case anyone was confused.

Grandma & Grandpa P, MaMaw & PaPaw L, Aunt Mary & Uncle Keith, Aunt Rose & Uncle Dave, Aunt Sherry & Uncle Chuck, and Aunt Kay & Uncle Marvin - You have mail!

The Blessing of Morning Sickness

This has been my view lately.

Taking that into consideration, when reading the title of this post you may be thinking, "Huh? Crazy Title!" Let me explain:

First "Morning" Sickness is a bit of a misnomer. It doesn't restrain itself to the mornings. I am finding that I am generally only queasy in the mornings, unless brushing my teeth sets something off. It's the evenings that I tend to "lose" my dinner, literally. Which also means I lose my prenatal vitamin, folic acid, and other meds - sigh. I'm experimenting with taking my meds at different times so prevent losing them. My baby needs these medicines!

However, the Blessing part is not a misnomer. I thank the Lord that he has given me an attitude to count Morning Sickness as a blessing. You see, my body (though fearfully and wonderfully created) rarely responds appropriately. I'm kind of a medical marvel - ha! So, the fact that my body is doing what is expected - is a blessing to my little heart. While I know morning sickness is no indicator necessarily of a healthy baby - I would find myself fearful and worried more if I didn't feel sick so it is a blessing from the Lord. I pray daily that I can continue in this pregnancy until delivery - that I have a healthy and strong baby - and that I would not complain or take this gift for granted.

Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of Lights.

James 1:17

My First Picture

Today was my first OB appointment. Here are the stats:

Pregnancy: 6 weeks and 1 day

Due Date: June 6, 2011

Mom's Weight: 113.8

Mom's BP: 116/72

Baby's Heart Rate: 122

According to all the doctors, everything looks great thus far. I am so thankful to the Lord for his faithfulness. I repent of not having trusted him. Granted, we are no where near out of the woods as far as complications and whatnot. However, I am determined to take it one day at a time and just rejoice in the Lord's goodness.

God's Timing

Being pregnant after almost 2 years of trying has made me this a lot: "Why now, God?"

Why not early 2010? Perhaps because of my knee injury in January?

Why not late 2010? Who knows?

Why now? This has been my question.

Several sinful thoughts have run through my little depraved brain. First, I keep trying to find what I did to deserve this. Perhaps, it's has been my faith? Perhaps, the fact that I've been more consistent with my quiet time? Perhaps it's been the reward of all the pruning time God has spent in him early this year. Fortunately, just moments after these thoughts, the Holy Spirit quickened me with "You have done nothing - this is from God."

See, God is no respecter of persons. Matthew 5:45 says "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous..." God doesn't give blessings according to who we are or what we do - it's the result of his grace. Totally unmerited.

Second, God cannot be manipulated. If it was true that God allowed me to be pregnant because of something I did - then that would mean I could control God. If I pray enough, if I read my Bible enough, if I obey enough - then God will do what I want. That would be a faulty view of God and a very dangerous way to live. Daniel 9:14 says, "The Lord our God is just in everything he does."

So as long as God allows me to have this baby - whether it is simply a few weeks of pregnancy, through birth, or until I die - this baby is a gift. Totally undeserved, not the result of any manipulation on my part.

Our Story

James and I were married May 2008. He was still in graduate school, so we began birth control. In December 2009, James graduated with his Masters Degree. I was born with a birth defect called Sacral a-Genesis (part of the newly caused Caudal Regressive Syndrome) which affects my spine, hips, kidneys, etc... so in November/December 2009 I began heading to doctors specifically to ask if it was safe to try to conceive. Good News - while I am bound to be a challenge, it was safe. So after James graduated, I went off bcp.

Flash forward 22 months and we are finally pregnant. For the past 22 months, my body has rarely done what it was created to do. First, my cycles completely stopped! In 2009, I literally had 3 periods that weren't medically induced. The beginning of 2011 wasn't much better. In March, my doctor began me on clomid. It's a drug that causes your body to ovulate. "This is our chance!" was my thoughts, but alas after 3 cycles of clomid - nothing. But then the most amazing thing happened - my cycles returned on their own! June, July, and August - I had a 'natural' cycle - pretty on-time too! So imagine my surprise when on September 28th, my cycle didn't arrive.

I feared the worse - it was happening again. So I waited...I had all the symptoms - acne, tenderness in my chest, bloated, but no period. Finally on Monday October 3rd (6 days after my missed period) I took a pregnancy test. Now, let me let you know neither of us was expecting anything. We simply wanted to rule it out so I could call my doc and let her know my body was whacking out again. Imagine my surprise when low and behold - we have two pink lines.

The next morning (Tuesday) I took another one, just to be sure it wasn't a fluke. Another two pink lines. Now, we're cheap and were buying dollar-store pregnancy tests, so my friend at school recommended that I purchase a more expensive one. So Tuesday evening, I come home with the digital test. New test = same result. Looks like this is actually happening.

The View on Monday